You couldn’t make it up,
Life is just like that!

What do you call a …

  • Q What do you call a man with a government subsidy?
    A Grant
  • Q What do you call a French man holding a pole?
    A Voltaire
  • Q What do you call a girl on the horizon?
    A Dot
  • Q What do you call a man with debts?
    A Owen
  • Q What do you call a man with three planks on his head
    A Edwood Woodwood
  • Q What do you call a man with a shovel?
    A Dug
  • Q What do you call a woman with a tile on her head?
    A Ruth
  • Q What do you call a man who makes your house warm?
    A Pete
  • Q What do you call a man with a long nose?
    A Bill

 

The European Union (EU) has granted a permit to an Austrian brewery to officially name their beer: Fucking Hell. It’s a fully legitimate permit. “Hell” in German means “Light” and the beer is produced in the Austrian town of Fucking.

Lifes like that 2

Guy put this photo on ebay to sell the table. Look in the mirror, he could have put some clothes on!

Someone played a prank on the supermarket – Love it.

Yes – The guy is into knitting.

Naked Motorbike Passenger



Romania – 2012

This woman was fined for not wearing a helmet, but allowed to continue travelling nude.



‘Bare-Back Riding’ is obviously popular:

 

Pidgin English

Have you read an Asian user manual for electronic equipment and chuckled at the use of English. It never ceases to amaze me why a company like Sony cannot employ someone who can speak English to proofread their manuals before printing.

In other areas such as forum boards on the internet it is of course more forgiveable, but equally amusing.

There is nothing like discovering a gem and wanting to put relish all over it, this is my place to record these moments for posterity.

click images to enlarge





Neighbourly Feud

The story goes that a town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning department had approved. Mark Easton complained to the local authority and the new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense.

As well as lowering the height, they also installed some vents on the side of the property that Mark Easton was not happy about so he called out the planning department to investigate.

Some people should not be parents.






 

What’s wrong with these photos



What’s wrong with these photos

Perhaps this first photo belongs in the section above “some people sould not be parents.” If the guy is of reasonable age then can we assume he has the best mum or partner in the world.


There’s always someone who thinks the world will stop without them.

Imagine seeing this in your fridge – A nice joke head.

If ONLY life was like this for everyone…

Comments made by NBC sports commentators during an Olympics.

1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.

2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.

6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.

8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.

9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?

Funny Names

Sherriff Grady Judd – Polk County, Florida

A guy who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop fataly shot the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times and another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.

A state wide manhunt ensued and the culprit was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

When asked by the media why they shot the man 68 times, Sheriff Grady Judd told them “That’s all the bullets we had.”

Justice was served, bullets are cheaper than 40 years of meals, cable and civil rights.

 

Dear Dad letter

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was tidy when he noticed an envelope propped up on the end of the bed, beckoning to be opened. It was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened and read the letter inside.


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, cos I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice but I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercings and tattoos, the motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood to get us through the winter. We also share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. One day, I’m sure we will come back to visit and you will be able to get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua

P.S.

Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on my desk.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

 

1

Lifes like that

Tuck it away somewhere

Dear Friends,

Most of you know that recently I went in for a small cosmetic surgical procedure. The nature of the procedure was a little embarrassing, so I kept it to myself. Now, however, I am compelled to share my secret. I had a butt lift and I’m breaking my silence because I didn’t go to plan. We should just accept the way we are.

Much Love,





Naked Motorbike Passenger

Romania – 2012




The woman was fined for not wearing a helmet, but allowed to continue travelling nude.







 

Some people should not have kids.





 

What’s wrong with these photos


What’s wrong with these photos

Perhaps this first photo belongs in the section above “some people sould not be parents.” If the guy is of reasonable age then can we assume he has the best mum or partner in the world.

There’s always someone who thinks the world will stop without them.

Imagine seeing this in your fridge – A nice joke head.



 

Life’s like that

Things in real life are the most interesting that happen because we wonder at how spectacular some people or places are and conversely how stupid and dangerous others can be. Here is a collection of fascinating, awesome or sheer diabolical people and places.

Bolivian Superhighway

You are about to see the most amazing road on a very, very high-way in Bolivia. Stremnaya Road is nicknamed “The Road of Death.”


 










This is one of the most stupid things you can imagine. The driver is not brave but stupid. The Bolivian government obviously need to lined up and shot and perhaps select a few normal citizens to run the country. Bolivia is no longer most famous for its tin mines but for the level of stupidity it endorses.


Other dangerous highways

Location unknown

Friendly sharks recognise humans?






Mad Photographer at the Grand Canyon

This is a case of a photographer photographing another photographer. The following pictures were taken by Hans van de Vorst from the Netherlands at the Grand Canyon, Arizona. The identity of the photographer in the photos is unknown.


I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock in the Grand Canyon. The canyon’s depth is 900 meters (3,000′) here. The rock on the right is affixed to the edge of the canyon and perfectly safe.

Watching this guy in his rubber thong sandals, burdened with a camera and a tripod, I asked myself 3 questions:

  1. How did he climb that rock?
  2. Why not take that sunset picture from that rock on the right, which is perfectly safe?
  3. How will he get back?
  4. After the sun set behind the canyon’s horizon he packed his things and prepared himself for the jump. This took about 2 minutes. At that point he definitely had the full attention of the crowd.

    This is the point of no return. After that, he jumped in his thong sandals & only having one hand free. The canyon’s depth is 900 meters (3,000 feet) here.

    You can see that the adjacent rock is quite a bit higher than where he is & quite steep. He hopes to use his one free hand to grab on to the rock. Look carefully at the photographer. He is carrying a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag all on his shoulder or in his left hand. He lands low on his flip flops both his right hand and right foot slip away.

    And at that moment I take this shot:

    He pushes his body tight against the rock waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on top of the rock, then climbs up & walks away.

    He is not the only crazy guy:

Strange Roads

Not advisable to drive too fast around these roads.


 

 

 

 

Over then under water.

 

 


This viaduct is part of the new E11 expressway connecting Paris and Barcelona. An overall height of 336 meters makes it the highest bridge in the world.



Can you get any higher or narrower?



 

 

Brand New Yacht

Custom built yacht with twin super-charged disel engines. Complete with 4 rooms and state of the art GPS and radar systems – $7,474,793.00.



 

Crane and rigging equipment $2,500.00 an hour … with a faulty $25.00 turnbuckle.


 


 

What were the odds of surviving this

Near Flagstaff, Arizona, on U.S. Highway 100

In the first picture see where the car ended up after breaking through the guardrail.


click images to enlarge

 

This second picture shows the location of the breached section of guardrail. Look where the people are gathered on the road.

 

The third photo shows you how incredibly fortunate the driver was on that day.

 

The car was travelling at about 75mph from right to left when it crashed through the guardrail and flipped end-over-end and ended up – right side up – on the bank of the culvert facing the opposite direction.

The 22-year-old driver and his 18 year old passenger suffered just minor cuts and bruises.

U.S. Highway 89 Landslide

A landslide on 20 Feb 2013 ripped apart a 500 foot section of this highway

click images to enlarge


 


 


 


 


 

Did the driver survive?










 

Did the driver survive?






 

Sinkhole swallows bus in Brazil

 

March 2015A bus was swept away by a raging river as a soft part of the Trans-Amazonian Highway through the state of Para, which crossed above a river, gave way and swalled the bus just moments after passengers had escaped.

The rear wheel fell through the doft ground and passengers calmly evacuated the bus.

It was then sucked head first into the river below and taken downstream.

Thankfully nobody was hurt.

 


 

 

 

Other sink holes

1993 – Harrisburg on South 14th street

 

February 2007 – Guatemala City

 

June 2010 – Guatemala City

 

June 2010 – Nanchang City

 

February 2013 – Florida

 

February 2014 – Walters Ash, South Wales

 

February 2015 – Naples, Italy

 

August 2015 – Manchester, UK

 

Just a kid driving to college

The driver was 22 years old and driving to college with passengers on board. He set out from Washington and fell alseep (For Americans, the accident happened north of Deer Lodge on 1-90).

The car came off the road and hit the end of a section of guard rail which went through the headlight, engine compartment, glove box, passenger seat, rear seat and exited out the rear window.

Incredibly no one was injured.

 


 

 

 


 

Look at what’s in the barn!

The owners of this farmhouse had died and having no heirs the property in Portugal went on the market. It was just a farmhouse with a large concrete barn. Several prospective buyers viewed it but were not interested.

The barn had steel doors which had been welded shut. Nobody had taken the trouble to cut through them and look inside. Until a couple from New York bought the property at a rock bottom price and began to cut through the doors. What they found inside was legally theirs of course, and it made them $35 million.

What was in this barn?

 

The welded barn doors

 

 

 

Aston Martin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“”

U.S. Highway 89 Landslide

A landslide on 20 Feb 2013 ripped apart a 500 foot section of this highway


click images to enlarge


 


 


 


 

Did the driver survive?










 

Did the driver survive?






Sinkhole swallows bus in Brazil

 

March 2015A bus was swept away by a raging river as a soft part of the Trans-Amazonian Highway through the state of Para, which crossed above a river, gave way and swallowed the bus just moments after passengers had escaped.

The rear wheel fell through the soft ground and passengers calmly evacuated the bus. It was then sucked head first into the river below and taken downstream. Thankfully nobody was hurt.

 


 

 

 

Other sink holes

1993 – Harrisburg on South 14th street

 

February 2007 – Guatemala City

 

June 2010 – Guatemala City

 

June 2010 – Nanchang City

 

February 2013 – Florida

 

February 2014 – Walters Ash, South Wales

 

February 2015 – Naples, Italy

 

August 2015 – Manchester, UK

Just a kid driving to college

The driver was 22 years old and driving to college with passengers on board. He set out from Washington and fell alseep (For Americans, the accident happened north of Deer Lodge on 1-90).

The car came off the road and hit the end of a section of guard rail which went through the headlight, engine compartment, glove box, passenger seat, rear seat and exited out the rear window.

Incredibly no one was injured.

 


 

 

 


 

Look at what’s in the barn!

The owners of this farmhouse had died and having no heirs the property in Portugal went on the market. It was just a farmhouse with a large concrete barn. Several prospective buyers viewed it but were not interested.

The barn had steel doors which had been welded shut. Nobody had taken the trouble to cut through them and look inside. Until a couple from New York bought the property at a rock bottom price and began to cut through the doors. What they found inside was legally theirs of course, and it made them $35 million.

What was in this barn?

 

The welded barn doors

 

 

 

Aston Martin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“”

The European Union (EU) has granted a permit to an Austrian brewery to officially name their beer: Fucking Hell. It’s a fully legitimate permit. “Hell” in German means “Light” and the beer is produced in the Austrian town of Fucking.

Naked Motorbike Passenger



Romania – 2012

This woman was fined for not wearing a helmet, but allowed to continue travelling nude.



‘Bare-Back Riding’ is obviously popular:

Pidgin English

Have you read an Asian user manual for electronic equipment and chuckled at the use of English. It never ceases to amaze me why a company like Sony cannot employ someone who can speak English to proofread their manuals before printing.

In other areas such as forum boards on the internet it is of course more forgiveable, but equally amusing.

There is nothing like discovering a gem and wanting to put relish all over it, this is my place to record these moments for posterity.

click images to enlarge





Neighbourly Feud

The story goes that a town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning department had approved. Mark Easton complained to the local authority and the new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense.

As well as lowering the height, they also installed some vents on the side of the property that Mark Easton was not happy about so he called out the planning department to investigate.

Some people should not be parents.






 

What’s wrong with these photos



What’s wrong with these photos

Perhaps this first photo belongs in the section above “some people sould not be parents.” If the guy is of reasonable age then can we assume he has the best mum or partner in the world.


There’s always someone who thinks the world will stop without them.

Imagine seeing this in your fridge – A nice joke head.

If ONLY life was like this for everyone…

Comments made by NBC sports commentators during an Olympics.

1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.

2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.

6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.

8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.

9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?

Funny Names

Sherriff Grady Judd – Polk County, Florida

A guy who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop fataly shot the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times and another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.

A state wide manhunt ensued and the culprit was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

When asked by the media why they shot the man 68 times, Sheriff Grady Judd told them “That’s all the bullets we had.”

Justice was served, bullets are cheaper than 40 years of meals, cable and civil rights.

 

Dear Dad letter

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was tidy when he noticed an envelope propped up on the end of the bed, beckoning to be opened. It was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened and read the letter inside.


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, cos I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice but I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercings and tattoos, the motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood to get us through the winter. We also share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. One day, I’m sure we will come back to visit and you will be able to get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua

P.S.

Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on my desk.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

 

1

Lifes like that

Tuck it away somewhere

Dear Friends,

Most of you know that recently I went in for a small cosmetic surgical procedure. The nature of the procedure was a little embarrassing, so I kept it to myself. Now, however, I am compelled to share my secret. I had a butt lift and I’m breaking my silence because I didn’t go to plan. We should just accept the way we are.

Much Love,





Naked Motorbike Passenger

Romania – 2012




The woman was fined for not wearing a helmet, but allowed to continue travelling nude.







 

Some people should not have kids.





 

What’s wrong with these photos


What’s wrong with these photos

Perhaps this first photo belongs in the section above “some people sould not be parents.” If the guy is of reasonable age then can we assume he has the best mum or partner in the world.

There’s always someone who thinks the world will stop without them.

Imagine seeing this in your fridge – A nice joke head.



 

What’s wrong with these photos

Perhaps this first photo belongs in the section above “some people sould not be parents.” If the guy is of reasonable age then can we assume he has the best mum or partner in the world.


There’s always someone who thinks the world will stop without them.

Imagine seeing this in your fridge – A nice joke head.

If ONLY life was like this for everyone…

Comments made by NBC sports commentators during an Olympics.

1. Weightlifting commentator: ‘This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.

2. Dressage commentator: ‘This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: ‘I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

4. Boxing Analyst: ‘Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

5. Softball announcer: ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.

6. Basketball analyst: ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.

8. Soccer commentator: ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.

9. Tennis commentator: ‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?

Funny Names

Sherriff Grady Judd – Polk County, Florida

A guy who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop fataly shot the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times and another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed.

A state wide manhunt ensued and the culprit was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.

When asked by the media why they shot the man 68 times, Sheriff Grady Judd told them “That’s all the bullets we had.”

Justice was served, bullets are cheaper than 40 years of meals, cable and civil rights.

Dear Dad letter

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was tidy when he noticed an envelope propped up on the end of the bed, beckoning to be opened. It was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened and read the letter inside.


Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, cos I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice but I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercings and tattoos, the motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood to get us through the winter. We also share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. One day, I’m sure we will come back to visit and you will be able to get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua

P.S.

Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on my desk.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.