HUMOUR

Everyone is familiar with the phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ but what about ‘jelly pickled lemon herring balls,’ ever heard that one – no I didn’t think so.

I was on the lookout for some camouflage trousers today, but I couldn’t find any.
I wrote a song about a tortilla, well actually it was more of a wrap.
My wife told me to stop impersonating flamingos. so I had to put my foot down.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I just don’t deserve it.
Say what you want about deaf people. . .
I used to get on with the neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
I’m learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it, just the ins and outs.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one.
Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese – The hallouminati.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
If you say ‘MY COCAINE’ you are also saying ‘Michael Caine’ in his own voice.
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
In the park the other day I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
“I don’t like country music but I wouldn’t denigrate those who do. And for those who are into it, denigrate means to ‘put down’.
A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say your mother.
Did you know the ‘shinbone’ is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
There are two rules for success: 1) Don’t disclose all that you know.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said “I can’t complain.”
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn!
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
A magician was driving down the road – then he turned into a drive way.
Some people appear bright until you hear them speak, this is because light travels faster than sound.
People would laugh when I told them I wanted to be a comedian, well they’re not laughing now.

Can you guess the nice words ?

1. BOO_S
2. T_TS
3. _ _ NDOM
4. F_ _ K
5. P_N_S
6. _OCK
7. PU_ S_
8. S_X

Answers:
answers: 1.books, 2.tots, 3.random, 4.fork, 5.pants, 6.sock, 7.pulse, 8.six
Did you get them all -great!