HUMOUR

Everyone is familiar with the phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ but what about ‘jelly pickled lemon herring balls,’ ever heard that one – no I didn’t think so.

Say what you want about deaf people. . .
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
Some people appear bright until you hear them speak, this is because light travels faster than sound.
I’m learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it, just the ins and outs.
People would laugh when I told them I wanted to be a comedian, well they’re not laughing now.
In the park the other day I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
“I don’t like country music but I wouldn’t denigrate those who do. And for those who are into it, denigrate means to ‘put down’.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
My wife told me to stop impersonating flamingos. so I had to put my foot down.
A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say your mother.
I was on the lookout for some camouflage trousers today, but I couldn’t find any.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Did you know the ‘shinbone’ is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A magician was driving down the road – then he turned into a drive way.
There are two rules for success: 1) Don’t disclose all that you know.
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn!
I wrote a song about a tortilla, well actually it was more of a wrap.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
I used to get on with the neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
If you say ‘MY COCAINE’ you are also saying ‘Michael Caine’ in his own voice.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said “I can’t complain.”
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one.
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese – The hallouminati.
I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I just don’t deserve it.

Can you guess the nice words ?

1. BOO_S
2. T_TS
3. _ _ NDOM
4. F_ _ K
5. P_N_S
6. _OCK
7. PU_ S_
8. S_X

Answers:
answers: 1.books, 2.tots, 3.random, 4.fork, 5.pants, 6.sock, 7.pulse, 8.six
Did you get them all -great!