HUMOUR

Everyone is familiar with the phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ but what about ‘jelly pickled lemon herring balls,’ ever heard that one – no I didn’t think so.

In the park the other day I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said “I can’t complain.”
Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese – The hallouminati.
People would laugh when I told them I wanted to be a comedian, well they’re not laughing now.
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
I was on the lookout for some camouflage trousers today, but I couldn’t find any.
Did you know the ‘shinbone’ is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn!
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say your mother.
I’m learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it, just the ins and outs.
I used to get on with the neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Which horses have the smallest legs? The smallest horses.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
If you say ‘MY COCAINE’ you are also saying ‘Michael Caine’ in his own voice.
My wife told me to stop impersonating flamingos. so I had to put my foot down.
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
There are two rules for success: 1) Don’t disclose all that you know.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one.
Some people appear bright until you hear them speak, this is because light travels faster than sound.
A magician was driving down the road – then he turned into a drive way.
Say what you want about deaf people. . .
I wrote a song about a tortilla, well actually it was more of a wrap.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I just don’t deserve it.
“I don’t like country music but I wouldn’t denigrate those who do. And for those who are into it, denigrate means to ‘put down’.

Can you guess the nice words ?

1. BOO_S
2. T_TS
3. _ _ NDOM
4. F_ _ K
5. P_N_S
6. _OCK
7. PU_ S_
8. S_X

Answers:
answers: 1.books, 2.tots, 3.random, 4.fork, 5.pants, 6.sock, 7.pulse, 8.six
Did you get them all -great!